Parental Guidelines

Parental Support- The Key to Peak Performance

The role that parents play in the life of a soccer player has a tremendous impact on their overall experience. With this in mind, we have taken some time to write down some helpful reminders for all of us as we approach our season. If you should have any questions about these thoughts, please feel free to contact a member of the coaching staff to discuss your concerns.

1. Let the coaches coach: Leave the coaching to the coaches. This includes motivating, psyching her up for practices or games, post-game critiques, goal setting, requirements for additional training, etc. You have entrusted the care of your player to us and we need the freedom to do our job. If a player has too many coaches, she becomes confused and her performance will likely decline.

2. Support the Program: Get involved! Volunteer! Help out with fundraisers, car-pool; anything to support the program. We all have their best interest in mind.

3. Be your child's best fan: Support your child unconditionally. Do not withdraw love when your child performs poorly. Your child should never have to perform to be loved. She needs to know that it is okay to fail. This probably will not be the last time in her life that she does not measure up to her expectations of herself. She needs to feel confident that that is okay. Then she will find the strength and resolve to grow and improve.

4. Support and root for all players on the team: Foster teamwork. Your player's teammates are not the enemy. When thay are playing better than your daughter, she now has a wonderful opportunity to learn. Female athletes do not typically seek recognition as individuals. These kids look for ways for the entire team to be a part of everything. Your daughter is not looking for a way to be an individual star, she is looking for a way to elevate the level of the entire team. This is where she will find her intrinsic reward.

5. Do not bribe or offer incentives: Your job is not to motivate. Leave this to the coaching staff. Bribes will distract you daughter from properly concentrating in training and game situations.

6. Encourage your daughter to talk with the coaches: If your daughter is having difficulties in training or games, or cannot make a training session, etc., encourage her to speak directly to the coaches. This "responsibility taking" is a big part of becoming a big-time player as well as growing up. By handling the off-field tasks, she is claiming ownership of all aspects of the game-preparation for, as well as, playing the game.

7. Understand and display appropriate game behavior. Remember, your child's self-esteem and game performance are at stake. Be supportive, cheer, be appropirate. To perform to the best of her abilities, a player needs to focus on the parts of the game that she can control (her fitness, positioning, decision making, skill, aggressiveness, reactions to what the game presents her). If she hears a lot of people telling her what to do, or yelling at the referee, her attention will be diverted from the task at hand.

8. Monitor your daughter's stress level at home: Keep an eye on the player to make sure that she is handling stress effectively from the various activities in her life. We do not want her to lose interest in any of her passions because of the demands of one.

9. Monitor eating and sleeping habits. Nutrition and rest are essential ingredients in making durable, high-performance athletes. Be sure she is eating healthy foods, appropriate amounts of food and getting plenty of rest. Believe me she is working hard.

10. Help your daughter keep her priorities straight Help her maintain a focus on schoolwork, relationships and the other things in life besides soccer. This is just a game. She needs to keep the other things in her life balanced. However, if she has made a commitment to soccer, help her fulfill her obligation to the team.

11. Reality test: If you daughter has come off of the field when her team has lost, but she has played her best, help her to see this as a "win". Remind her that she is to focus on the process and not the results. If she can learn to focus on the process, the results will come naturally. Perhaps not on the scoreboard, but in her growth and development as she becomes an adult.

12. Keep soccer in its proper perspective: Soccer should not become larger than life for you or for her. If her performance produces strong emotions in you, suppress them. This is about her, not you. Remember this: your relationship with her will continue long after her competitive soccer days are over. Keep your goals and needs separate from your daughter's performance.

13. Have Fun: Probably the most important tip of all. Having fun is one of the key focusses of our program. We will continually challenge her to reach past her comfort level to try new things and improve herself as a player and a person. We will attempt to do this in environments that are fun, yet challenging. We look forward to the process. We hope you do too!

Coach Underwood